Inescapable Truth #3 “Maintain Radio Silence”

Maintain Radio Silence

Popular “wisdom” on smoking cessation says that you should tell your family and friends that you have stopped smoking. This alerts them to your plight, and enlists them as helpers.

Total Bullcrap.

Don’t say a single word to anyone. Especially not your friends and family.

Why?

First and foremost this is a spiritual battle for your soul. Cigarettes have it. You want it back. It’s a war. It’s between you, and G-d, and your body. That makes it a very private and personal thing. You don’t announce to your friends and family that you’ve got terrible hemorrhoids, or that you’re constipated, why announce this? If your really serious about this you won’t feel the need to share it with anyone. Keep it a personal, and private battle. Those are the most important kind.

Secondly, by proclaiming from the mountain tops “HEY EVERYONE! ATTENTION PLEASE! I AM NOW QUITTING SMOKING! PLEASE BEHAVE ACCORDINGLY!”. You have now placed yourself under a great deal of pressure. Everyone is watching you. All eyes are on your effort. You are now under the microscope. You’ve placed about 1000 extra pounds of pressure per square inch on your life, and this is going to force your body to demand extra high blood levels of nicotine to deal with the psychological stress you’ve just placed yourself under.

Not a smart move.

By being silent about your resolve to quit. You place less pressure on your self, and your systems. You take yourself out of the “spotlight”. You pass or fail this test of will on your own terms. Not on anyone elses.

If you are truly serious about quitting, you do not need to make a broad announcement. Shouting from the rooftops is in a word, insincere, and artificial. Quitting is for real. Getting on the PA system and shouting your intentions to the world serves no real purpose. See above.

The truth is sometimes an ugly, and unpleasant thing. If you make the mistake of announcing your intentions to all your friends and family you will have to deal with these two classes of individuals:

Well Meaning Individuals: Stopping by your desk every smoke break to ask if you’re holding out okay. Constantly reminding you of the addiction, and the withdrawal symptoms. Constantly calling you to see how you’re doing as regards your smoking habit. Constantly putting what you’re trying hard to get beyond in the forefront of your mind.

Not So Well Meaning Individuals: Petty people who will be poking fun at you for trying to quit. Not wanting you to actually succeed, lest they be seen as inferior for still having the addiction. Inviting you to smoke breaks you are so desperately trying to avoid. Again… constantly reminding you of what you are trying to get beyond. Neither of these types of persons will do you any good.

Despite your best efforts, you will have to deal with both types of people.

By remaining silent you rob these individuals of the power to put pressure on you, and thereby increase your chance of success.

Tell them when you’ve successfully quit. Not before.

It goes without saying that you should stop hanging around friends and family members that smoke for a bit. Until your out of the woods at least.