Inescapable Truth #5 “Oral Fixations”

Oral Fixations Are Nothing To Laugh At

Who the hell knows if Freud or any of the other headshrinkers that wax so esoteric about addictions and sexuality and all the other stuff they rave on and on about are right or wrong. Fact of the matter is that smoking carries with it a psychological oral component. At least 1/3 of the habit has to do with nervous energy, and oral issues.

Contrary (again… surprise) to popular wisdom, I feel its most necessary to cheat on this issue. If you cheat properly.

Here are a few things I did to overcome the oral aspect of the habit. They worked great for me.

1. I bought a GIGANTIC (as in 3 lb.) bag of soft bubble gum.

2. I bought a GIGANTIC (as in 2 lb.) bag of Tootsie Roll suckers.

3. I bought a $4.00 corn-cob pipe, removed the filter, and stuffed it with tissue paper until sucking on the stem produced a draw identical to the draw on my brand of cigarettes.

For the first 3 weeks, I was never without one of the above oral crutches to help see me through. And to this day I find myself sometimes patting my pocket, and looking for that stupid pipe. Mind you I’ve never put a single shred of tobacco in it, let alone light it, but it was comforting to know it was just there.

I’m convinced they helped me kick the habit.

They have no bad side effects (dental issues notwithstanding).