quitsmokingtruths

Don’t Be Stupid!

I am the king of the self-improvement project. I have been known to spend days planning out how I’m going to improve my life. Quit smoking. Lose 50 pounds. Start working out. Become like a young Adonis. Learn to fly a plane. Learn to play the guitar. All in the next 2 weeks.

Sometimes I achieve my goals. Sometimes I fail.

When it comes to smoking… don’t be stupid.

Don’t try to quit smoking as part of some overall gigantic self improvement scheme.

IT WILL NOT WORK.

Because.

You’re putting too much pressure on yourself, and pressure will make you go back to smoking.

Make smoking the ONLY thing on your agenda.

Wait till some other time to lose weight, or change jobs, or take a new lover, or start that new diet, or whatever. Stop assuming there is room in your schedule for all of that and quitting smoking too. There isn’t.

Focus.

Make quitting your top priority… and NOTHING ELSE thank you.

Trying to quit smoking and improve yourself in other ways is stupid. It’s going to take every ounce of your willpower and concentration to get through quitting. Don’t use precious mental and psychological resources trying to do others things.

Don’t Be (More) Stupid!

Life is funny. It ebbs and flows like a tide. There are moments of great joy. There are moments of irreparable grief. If you take the time to chart your life over time, and the way you feel about it you would see a hilly series of peeks and valleys. Last month? Your kids made the honor roll at school, you got a new promotion with a sweet little raise, the wife has been treating you well, and everything looks bright and sunny. Your graph would definitely show a high spot. Next month? Your wife seems unhappy for some reason you can’t quite figure out, and the same kid that made the honor roll is now in trouble for something bad. That promotion you got meant a metric ton of added responsibly nobody told you about, and to top it all off, your down deathly ill with some stupid virus that’s going around and takes weeks to shake off. Definitely a big valley on your chart.

If you pick a “valley time” to start your effort to quit smoking, you… will… fail.

Period.

The stress and pressure of dealing with a hard time requires that you smoke a little extra to offset your nerves. Trying to quit during a time like that is just foolish.

Wait.

Wait till a high point in your life. When your feeling good about yourself and your prospects. Then you’ll have the extra mental energy to get you past the really hard time that withdrawal puts you through.

It’s only common sense.

Don’t be stupid.

Maintain Radio Silence

Popular “wisdom” on smoking cessation says that you should tell your family and friends that you have stopped smoking. This alerts them to your plight, and enlists them as helpers.

Total Bullcrap.

Don’t say a single word to anyone. Especially not your friends and family.

Why?

First and foremost this is a spiritual battle for your soul. Cigarettes have it. You want it back. It’s a war. It’s between you, and G-d, and your body. That makes it a very private and personal thing. You don’t announce to your friends and family that you’ve got terrible hemorrhoids, or that you’re constipated, why announce this? If your really serious about this you won’t feel the need to share it with anyone. Keep it a personal, and private battle. Those are the most important kind.

Secondly, by proclaiming from the mountain tops “HEY EVERYONE! ATTENTION PLEASE! I AM NOW QUITTING SMOKING! PLEASE BEHAVE ACCORDINGLY!”. You have now placed yourself under a great deal of pressure. Everyone is watching you. All eyes are on your effort. You are now under the microscope. You’ve placed about 1000 extra pounds of pressure per square inch on your life, and this is going to force your body to demand extra high blood levels of nicotine to deal with the psychological stress you’ve just placed yourself under.

Not a smart move.

By being silent about your resolve to quit. You place less pressure on your self, and your systems. You take yourself out of the “spotlight”. You pass or fail this test of will on your own terms. Not on anyone elses.

If you are truly serious about quitting, you do not need to make a broad announcement. Shouting from the rooftops is in a word, insincere, and artificial. Quitting is for real. Getting on the PA system and shouting your intentions to the world serves no real purpose. See above.

The truth is sometimes an ugly, and unpleasant thing. If you make the mistake of announcing your intentions to all your friends and family you will have to deal with these two classes of individuals:

Well Meaning Individuals: Stopping by your desk every smoke break to ask if you’re holding out okay. Constantly reminding you of the addiction, and the withdrawal symptoms. Constantly calling you to see how you’re doing as regards your smoking habit. Constantly putting what you’re trying hard to get beyond in the forefront of your mind.

Not So Well Meaning Individuals: Petty people who will be poking fun at you for trying to quit. Not wanting you to actually succeed, lest they be seen as inferior for still having the addiction. Inviting you to smoke breaks you are so desperately trying to avoid. Again… constantly reminding you of what you are trying to get beyond. Neither of these types of persons will do you any good.

Despite your best efforts, you will have to deal with both types of people.

By remaining silent you rob these individuals of the power to put pressure on you, and thereby increase your chance of success.

Tell them when you’ve successfully quit. Not before.

It goes without saying that you should stop hanging around friends and family members that smoke for a bit. Until your out of the woods at least.

The Docu-Drama

You may have spent a great deal of time trying to deny it, or rationalize it, or just plain avoid thinking about it, but the truth of the matter is simply:

IF YOU CONTINUE TO SMOKE YOU WILL PROBABLY DIE A PAINFUL AND LINGERING DEATH

Perhaps emphysema will get you, and your will drown in your own phlegm.

Perhaps cancer will get you, and you will be eaten alive from the inside out by your own cells.

Perhaps the cancer will be of the mouth or the throat, and you will be disfigured or have to talk through a hole in your neck, or with the aid of a vibrating device.

Perhaps the plaque that nicotine and tar generates in your bloodstream will clog the arteries to your heart so thoroughly that your chest seizes like an overheated Chevy large block and you die writhing in pain on the bathroom floor before you can even call for help.

All these scenarios aren’t just “possible” for a smoker. They’re highly damn “probable”.

By coming to terms with this idea, you gain a valuable psychological tool in your effort to quit smoking.

I call it the “docu-drama”.

Create one for yourself. Commit it mentally to video tape in your head. Make it very realistic, and detailed. And above all… make it SCARY. The scarier the better.

When the urge to smoke is gripping you hard (and it will… oh yes… it will), and you need strength, and something to help you through. Haul out your “docu-drama”. Load it up on the VCR in your mind, and play it back a few times. You’ll get this sort of cold… clammy feeling in your heart. Good.

Whenever the monkey was hard on my back, I’d play back my mental videotape of my very own “docu-drama”. It went something like this:

The scene opens in a stereotypical “doctors office”. It’s a coolly sanitary, but strangely elegant office. It’s mostly furnished with expensive, dark wood paneling and hunter-green drapes and accessories. His desk is one of those huge, elegant, oak affairs. It’s stained dark too, with expensive looking nick-knacks and such lying on the expensive glass sheet he’s got to protect the top of it. Hanging on the wall are all of his fancy diploma’s. His chair is a gigantic, comfortable, “doctors” chair. Mine is a plush, red-leather affair. You know the type. With the oversized brass tacks all around the trim. Very nice.

I’m sitting across from my doctor.

He’s holding a rather large manila envelope. You know the kind. The ones that x-rays come in?

He’s looking at me rather gravely. I don’t like the look.

He shakes his head sadly.

He pushes the envelope across that huge oak desk at me.

I slide the x-ray out of the envelope.

In the back of my mind I can hear his words, but they don’t register on me… I’m too busy trying not to pass out because of the black spots I see on that picture I’m holding. Words like… “advanced beyond treatment” and “already spread to your lymph nodes” and “3 months at the outside” and “have the time to get your affairs in order and say goodbye to your loved ones”

You get the picture.

When you weigh the drama played out in a scene like this… you feel pretty stupid for ever having wanted a cigarette. At least I know I did. Perhaps you will too.

It sure helped me find perspective when I was losing it.

Oral Fixations Are Nothing To Laugh At

Who the hell knows if Freud or any of the other headshrinkers that wax so esoteric about addictions and sexuality and all the other stuff they rave on and on about are right or wrong. Fact of the matter is that smoking carries with it a psychological oral component. At least 1/3 of the habit has to do with nervous energy, and oral issues.

Contrary (again… surprise) to popular wisdom, I feel its most necessary to cheat on this issue. If you cheat properly.

Here are a few things I did to overcome the oral aspect of the habit. They worked great for me.

1. I bought a GIGANTIC (as in 3 lb.) bag of soft bubble gum.

2. I bought a GIGANTIC (as in 2 lb.) bag of Tootsie Roll suckers.

3. I bought a $4.00 corn-cob pipe, removed the filter, and stuffed it with tissue paper until sucking on the stem produced a draw identical to the draw on my brand of cigarettes.

For the first 3 weeks, I was never without one of the above oral crutches to help see me through. And to this day I find myself sometimes patting my pocket, and looking for that stupid pipe. Mind you I’ve never put a single shred of tobacco in it, let alone light it, but it was comforting to know it was just there.

I’m convinced they helped me kick the habit.

They have no bad side effects (dental issues notwithstanding).

Breathe

Of all the tricks I proffer to help people quit smoking… this is the one that most people have the hardest time with.

Not surprisingly… it’s the one I feel is absolutely critical to the process of quitting.

You must begin to BREATHE.

When the shortness of breath (which is a nice little gift courtesy of the damage smoking has done to your lungs and the withdrawal symptoms) strikes you, or the need for a hit off of a smoke is beginning to overwhelm you. BREATHE.

Take 3 or 4, long… hard… strong… DEEEEEP breaths. So deep that it hurts a little bit.

In through the mouth.

Out through the nose.

Deep. Until you can really feel it.

Hard.

This serves several purposes:

1. It helps detoxify your body. By deep breathing you cleanse the blood of the nicotine and the other chemicals that are causing many of your withdrawal symptoms. This is very important.

2. By cleansing the bloodstream you shorten the withdrawal period. Significantly.

3. It aids you psychologically with the oral aspects of the withdrawal.

And besides all that… it just plains helps you feel better.

Take my word for this.

Talk To The Boss

Please… do not misunderstand me.

I am not a bible thumper, or an extremely religious person. I’m not a fanatic, or someone who openly preaches to other people. You know the type of person I’m talking about. Those “in-your-face” Christian types who like to feel superior to everyone else?

Hardly.

But I will say that while I was trying to quit, I took a moment every single night to say a small prayer.

I asked for strength and guidance. I asked for help in getting through something that seemed at times to be a lot larger than I was.

I don’t know if He heard me.

I don’t know if it made any difference.

All I really know is that when I finally broke down and asked for a little help…. I made it.

I can’t say that about any of the other times tried.

Take that for what it’s worth.

Mac’s Rule Of Three’s

From the moment you smoke your last cigarette… Know Ye This:

It will be 3 days before you can concentrate on ANY significant thing other than the fact you want a cigarette desperately.

It will be 3 days before you get a good nights sleep.

It will be 3 days before you can go a solid MINUTE without thinking about a cigarette.

It will be 3 weeks before you can go a solid HOUR without thinking about a cigarette.

It will be 3 months before you can go a solid DAY without thinking about a cigarette.

And you will NEVER, EVER, NEVER… stop wanting one.

It’s been over 10 years for me. And I will not lie to you. The smell of cigarette smoke still turns me on. Every time I walk through a cloud of smoke in a restaurant I’m gripped by the lust for a smoke. It passes quickly. It only lingers a moment, or two. But it’s there. And it’s real. And it will never change.

Hey… I never said it was going to be easy.

What To Expect

When you quit smoking your body will immediately begin to change, and to heal. It breaks down like this:

Within 1 hour of quitting, your blood pressure, overall body temperature, and standing pulse rate will begin to move toward normal numbers.

After 8 hours the carbon monoxide (you heard me right – I said CARBON MONOXIDE) levels in your blood will begin to drop off to somewhere near normal levels.

After 10 hours the oxygen levels in your blood will begin to increase to somewhere close to normal (did you even KNOW that smoking depleted oxygen levels in your blood?)

After 24 hours your risk of a heart attack decreases dramatically. (Please… ponder the implications of this for a few minutes)

After 48 hours the nerve endings in your nose and mouth will begin to REGROW (yes, they were burned off by your smoking). This means that your sense of smell and taste will begin to return.

After 3 days the tubes in your lungs will begin to relax, and breathing should become a little easier.

After 3 weeks, your lung capacity will return to 30% of it’s normal level. (Just… THINK about that one for a second)

After 9 months you should see a NOTICIBLE difference in the amount of coughing and shortness of breath that was probably resulting in an overall decreased energy level.

After 5 years your body will have healed about ½ the damage you’ve done to it by smoking. Your risk of lung cancer is cut in ½.

After 10 years, your body will have healed over 90% of the damage you’ve done to it by smoking, and your risk of lung cancer is almost the same as a person who never smoked.

The Healthy Paradox

Okay…

In the interest of “fair disclosure” I’m going to let you in on a little secret, and your not going to like it very much.

In fact… your going to be downright angry. I can’t say as I blame you.

Once you quit smoking, it’s reasonable to expect that you’re going to be a much healthier person. Right? I mean, that is what you’ve been spoon-fed by all those well meaning Doctors and loved ones who have been badgering you to quit, right?

“Just think about how much healthier you’re going to be!” – They always say this with a big smile.

Well… here’s the truth.

Bullshit.

It’s all complete Bullshit.

You’re not going to be healthier at first.

In fact… your going to be pretty screwed up for a while.

I thought that when I quit smoking I’d be healthier too. Less colds and flu’s and being sick. I thought that quitting smoking was taking huge steps to make me healthier over all. And “over all” it certainly is. But the truth is that for the first few months after you quit smoking, your body is going to try exact revenge on you for having the audacity to deprive it of the nicotine drug that it’s come to love an depend on.

The first few months after I quit (and this is true of the many, many, many ex-smokers I know), I caught every single cold and flu bug that went around (something I never did when I was smoking). I started having nagging little health problem after nagging little health problem. Everything went wrong. Even my tonsils went bad and had to be taken out. My digestion got horrible. Everything I ate or drank gave me heartburn for a while. My blood pressure actually went HIGHER after I quit.

I’m guessing it’s all psychological, and your body is rebelling against the detoxification. I think it sort of holds your overall health as hostage for a few months. I think your psyche figures that if it makes you sick enough, or uncomfortable enough, then you’ll use all that for an excuse and just go back to when you were healthier and happier, when you SMOKED.

Whatever it was, I and everyone I know suffered terribly health-wise the few months after we quit. Our bodies were truly out to get us.

The good news is that you get past this. After a hard few months of really poor health, if you stick with it and don’t give in, you’ll gradually start getting better. And overall you finally WILL be healthier. I promise. Your digestion will level out, and your blood pressure will recede. All the naggy little health problems that plagued you in an effort to force you to abandon your quest to be smoke free will subside.

That’s when your body will truly begin to heal.

See the next post.